fairweather
i find myself going through spells where i don’t want to share anything. or i feel like i’m boring you. maybe i’m just boring myself.
but, you.
funny…i feel like i have a relationship with you. the collective you. though small you are, you do play a role in my life now. and so sometimes i’m very drawn to you, but then other times i pull away and avoid you, knowing very well that i’ll be drawn in again. you’re like a lover.
sometimes when i’m really feeling it, i get more flirtatious. i share a lot. flash a little skin.
i woo you with funny/pretty/weird things i make or find, hoping you’ll be entertained, and unavoidably wanting you to appreciate my strange tastes.
then suddenly i’m bored. i need something you can’t give me. the tangible. touch. feeling. intimacy.
and so i grow restless. hungry. and i stray…
i rendezvous with my other lovers. some i see regularly, others i go months without seeing –
(sorry yoga – we have amazing physical chemistry, but i’m in hollywood and you’re in atwater, plus i started seeing the ymca… but i miss you. and you know at some point i need you to turn me out like you always do. dayum.)
but without fail…
i do. always. come. back.
to.
you.
because you. you. are a mystery. i don’t know how to read you… so that excites me. haha fuck, do i always need a challenge?
yes. apparently i do.
so let’s dance shall we?
i’m feelin it.
right.
now.
photo by: leigha hodnet
Tags: getting to know someone, internet lover, letter to a lover, love letter, writing to your audience