i used to make a lot of excuses. i admit it. there were lots. i didn’t realize how much at the time. i had excuses for when i would start eating right, start exercising, to take classes, to be creative, to drink water, to build my career, to examine my relationships, to heal relationships, to connect with my family, to go out with friends, to meet new people. christ, you name it, i’ve made an excuse to NOT do it at least one point in my life.
this doesn’t mean i NEVER did what i knew i had to do. i did. it just certainly took a while* even though i always knew in my heart who i could be.
i used to repeat my “story” as an excuse.
“Once upon a time… blah blah blah… and that’s how i got all fucked up in life, so that’s why i can’t be what you want me to be.”
ooh… that’s interesting. “what you want me to be… “ that just sort of slipped out, but it’s profound. why do we go through life thinking we need to be what others want us to be? this is social conditioning i would say. we’re usually raised by parents, who were raised by parents, who were raised by parents, and so on. all of whom did their best to teach their children how to be, but maybe didn’t always have the best tools. it’s not anyone’s fault. every mother has been a daughter. every father has been a son. and they each and all have a story as well.
so when do we forgive our parents for “fucking us up” and move the fuck on? well, there is only the now, my friends.
did you know that up until age six, a child’s brain frequency is constantly in theta? this frequency allows our brains to absorb massive amounts of information that is stored in our long-term memories (in our subconscious minds). it is an evolutionary gift, but most people have no idea about this. i certainly didn’t — not until recently at least, due to my previously inactive brain waking up and hungering for masses of information.
ok, so what does this mean? well, do you remember at any point of your childhood being told you couldn’t do/have something because you weren’t being good enough? because you don’t deserve it? were you ever told you were acting stupid? or being crazy? if you don’t remember this, just go to the supermarket and observe some young parents with their kids. this is rampant in our world.
alas… if only we had known then how destructive this can be to a child. the thing is, children don’t yet have a fully developed conscious mind yet at that age, and so they operate on many primal urges of wanting, being fearful, angry, envious, but also loving, caring, playful, and being all around little delights.
children ARE. they are the quintessential example of how to just BE.
however, many parents (though meaning well) expect their little ones to be perfect NOW. and so they unintentionally teach children that the natural, human, primal urge to feel every spectrum of emotion is somehow WRONG. at that age, a child is really this wondrous, living-in-the-now, adorable little hard drive in constant download mode, taking in every word, every action, and every reaction that the parent is saying/having (both toward the child or toward his/her partner in front of the child).
to put it all together, when in theta brainwave frequency, a child’s brain stores EVERY SINGLE WORD AND ACTION it is exposed to. and through various other kinds of patterns and conditioning that occur at that time, a child’s subconscious “personality” is formed. have you not noticed how we sometimes become just like our parents or like the people who were most influential in our childhood lives? it is not a coincidence that the most supported children grow up to be balanced, while those who experience traumas develop deep psychological issues.
WHEW. ok. this is not a lesson on parenting, i promise. this is actually to give us all insight into why WE do the things we do. why WE sabotage ourselves. why WE may go through life knowing very well how amazing and powerful and creative we are, but then constantly “fucking up,” or making excuses for things. it is insight into why we resist change so much. we often know our full potential in our hearts, but we subconsciously resist changing all the bad habits that prevent us from being our highest selves.
why? because we downloaded subconscious beliefs that we aren’t good enough. that we aren’t smart enough. that we’re messy. wild. crazy.
out. of. control.
sure we also downloaded a lot of good things. great things. amayyyyzing things!!! but until we become conscious of that other stuff we unconsciously downloaded, we’ll continue to live two versions of ourselves.
who are you? who do you want to be?
what’s keeping you from being the YOU you know you are?
check in with yourselves daily, my loves. see yourself. you are already your highest self. the only thing in the way of you being the person you dream to be is just a program. a mirage. you have all the power in the world to re-program yourself. focus on your true self. know who you are. is that you who reacts with a temper? is that you who is out of control? is that you who doesn’t believe you can do it?
i know that you know in your heart who you really are. tap in. feel yourself. free yourself. love yourself. all of this was a lesson to learn that you have every ability to grow and change and then TEACH. we are all teachers. we are all conduits of love.
i love you so much. i am you and you are me and without each other we wouldn’t exist. for this reason i am so grateful for you. so so grateful for you that i may experience this journey. what an amazing journey this life is. there is no reason to struggle against it, and all the reason to flow with it. when you become aware of who you truly are, you begin to attract the riches of your imagination into your life effortlessly. struggling is just another obstacle that we are creating. the more we try, the more we are just trying!
so just do. just be. be you. be that wonderful, amazing, loving you that i love so much.
because you are divine.
and remember that it will take effort. but there are lots of tricks. lots and lots of tricks my loves!
like bringing yourself back into theta frequency. this is the frequency right before you go into deep sleep. setting intentions, writing and visualizing the glorious being that you are right before bed is a fantastic start. meditation!!! even hypnotherapy**. there are so many resources out there that help you deprogram negativo subconscious patterns.
so if any of this post resonates with you, i encourage you to explore yourself. i see many people in my life doing this already, and i have no doubt that those of you i don’t know personally have been awakening as well. all you creative, beautiful beings.
i love you all so much!
*i say here that it “took a while” but i must elaborate that i believe now that everything happened in exactly the amount of time it was meant to happen. it always does for all of us. it just is. feeling that “urgency” was just another program! now it’s time to feel the flow flow flow…
**a gift for you: audio hypnotherapy track. put it on your itunes or put it on your phone/ipod and play it just as you’re about to go to sleep every night or when you have time to lie down for a nap during the day. you don’t have to do anything else! it sounds kind of intense if you listen to it at first, but it will take you into theta and deprograms negative subconscious beliefs. i dare you to try to remain conscious throughout — it’s challenging! OH and do not use while driving!