I am pretty transparent in sharing my own discoveries from eating raw foods to quantum study and you know what? I’m manifesting some amazing experiences in my life because of it! And, the biggest lesson of all that all the greats and all the masters have ever said is to not take life too seriously. Laugh often and enjoy life. So…

People break their backs trying to support themselves in the old paradigm world we have lived in for so long and life can be so much easier if we all just shared and loved a little. In fact, a LOT! We share resources and support each other the way tribal cultures do and it WORKS. Amazingly!

The funny thing is, last year I remember telling one of my best friends that I was manifesting an experience like this because of a vision I had of community. I imagined a house much like the one I live in now, with the most brilliant minds (which they are), and all with the same dream: To uplift humanity through art, creativity, and to live and teach self sustainability.

BAM. The Universe provides.

but look what i’ve got for you after all these months!! i recently got to partake in a project spawned from the creative labs of ELEVATE as a response to a Will Ferrell parody of the video Dear Woman, a video based on the “Manifesto for Conscious Men,” which has gotten quite a number of hits on Youtube and has raised a bit of discussion amongst men and women alike regarding the dance of the masculine and feminine energies that lie within all of us. now, i won’t go into all that too deep this time around, but let’s just say a yin yang ain’t only the decal on your weed grinders folks. we’ll get back to that one.

and thing is, because this is a topic that isn’t right up at the top of every person’s consciousness, it’s easy to make mockery of such, which is exactly what Will Ferrell and friends did with this gem:

Will Ferrell, i love you. which is why i am honored to be a participant of this letter to you, in “Dear Will Ferrell.” please watch, enjoy, rate, share…anything ya’ll feel. i love y’all!

lots of stuff in this first month of 2011…where do i begin? i suppose first of all, you should know i discovered that all this time since high school i’ve been typing incorrectly and losing the hearts of typographers everywhere by putting not one, but TWO spaces after each period of a sentence. not my fault! thanks, north carolina typing class teacher. needless to say, i will NOT be going back through my whole blog to correct this travesty.

DEAL, typographers.

next on the list: the episode of BONES that i appeared in aired last week. wohoo! t’was a non-speaking co-star, but i mentioned previously about having to reshoot the “love” scene because it was too sexy. apparently, sex — according to FOX network — does not involve any movement whatsoever. the first time we shot it i was specifically requested to rock wit u, but then the second time i was explicitly told, “less gyrating.”

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, FOX.

anyhow, here’s a screen-capture — click it to watch the full episode on imdb:

this episode is written by an asian american writer and contains some content that miiight be construed as stereotyping…i dunno you tell me haha (i will play dumb for now). i found it humorous (don’t like to take everything too seriously ya know?), but perhaps it’s a way to start a dialogue. thoughts? i would love to know what ya’ll think after you watch it…

AND THEN the last order of business is…wait for it…

DRUNKEN CHEF!

my friends Courtney and Jose created a web series of that very title, and it stars Jose, as himself, as The Drunken Chef. they asked me to guest star in this episode and we had a grand time shooting it. i was already well off the sauce when we shot this, although the crew (and drunken chef himself) enjoyed some beers. i think it was equally fun just pretending.

enjoy…

please forgive me.

it’s not that i don’t have things to share.  i do.  tons in fact.  for example, it was my birthday on the 10th of december.  AND, i recently shot an episode of the show BONES in November, which suddenly had to be reshot on said birthday.  might sound like a bummer but it turned out to be exactly the steamy birthday gift from the universe i asked for.  wrapped in one easy package!  but what do you mean patty yu?

well kids, number one, patty yu asked for work.  check.  number two patty yu asked for some lovin on her birthday.  CHECK.

WHA???  yes.  that is correct.  see, it was an unseasonably warm week before my bday.  i was shooting the shit with the universe, you know, cracking jokes, making grand exclamations of gratitude, and just having a nice day together, when i teased that it’s my birthday in a few days and you know i want to ri-i-i-i-ide out.  i say teased, because the reality of this happening in patty yu’s life as we currently know it is slim to none (that’s if i want to keep my self respect, know what i’m sayin ladees?).  so i just kind of laughed it off and thought nothing of it.  taylor was there, she’ll tell you.

Out of nowhere, the 2nd AD on Bones calls and says we might have to reshoot on my bday.  holy crap.  my very first love scene on network TV (did i mention that?) and it had to be re-shot.  oy.  a few thoughts went through my mind.  did i not give them what they wanted?  everyone seemed so pleased and satisfied that first day.  what possibly went wrong?

in two words:  TOO.  SEXY.

damn.

sorry bout that.

i only did exactly what the director asked of me.  but here’s the little lesson in the business:  the producers enforce the censorship handbook in situations like these, and the FOX network is… well… you fill in the blank.  i have nothing bad to say about anyone.  there’s something for everyone in the world.  yada yada.

this is the part where i get to MY POINT:  even though everything seemed to be perfect that first day of shooting and i did everything asked of me, and the world seemed to be moving forward as usual after we finished, somehow i still managed to find myself on top of an attractive young actor on my birthday.

happy fucking birthday to me.

sure, he was married IRL and it was all pretend, but he was sweet, had great energy, was uber respectful, and there was no chance to take it too far.  HOW FREAKING PERFECT IS THAT???

thanks universe.  i know you got my back.  love ya lots.

maybe my periods of silence come in part because it’s slightly difficult to explain to ya’ll these circumstances, considering i always bring my pal U[niverse] into the convo (what is this bitch on you’re probably asking) and thus it all starts to seem a bit out there.

maybe the silence comes in part because i feel like i’m changing at light speed, especially now that i’ve been living so healthy and not making excuses anymore and being totally accountable for myself and all my decisions.  living the dream, instead of living in desire.

maybe the silence comes in part because i have a LOT to share.  my photoshoot with lee from this summer for example.  i’ve only shared a few images.  and there are more.  oh BOY are there more.  (i’ll be sure to explain my irrational complexes surrounding these images another time i promise.)

but when it really comes down to it… silly me…

i just feel kinda…

shy.

it makes no sense, i know, but that’s how i feel sometimes.  i am only human after all.

gulp.

well, now you know my weakness.

IT’S OVER.

kidding.

and here’s a photo.

oh shit!

happy birthday to YOU.

by my stargazing brother lee clower

if you follow me on twitter or facebook, you have been privy to my barrage of various inspirational quotes of late.

how apropo carl, how apropo.

it’s true though, i have definitely been on an idealism binge.  this one is pretty serious.  i mean, i was always a super idealistic kid.  astrology will tell you it’s in my nature (sadge duh) and i have only ever continually validated that assumption throughout my life.  i mean look at what i’m setting out to do here.  it is an idealholic’s wet dream — cuz until you’re truly in it, this business makes no promises.  no promises at all.  not of fame and definitely not of fortune.

absolutely no guarantees except the one in my soul.

quote that motherfuckers!

my point is.  where do i draw a line?  sure, i am a hardcore idealism junkie at this point, but if i wasn’t i wouldn’t still be here chipping away and starting to see the budding fruits of my labor.  all my big dreams are the driving force behind so many of my actions, when otherwise i just wouldn’t care enough to try.  am i the only one here?  i guess you should know that my ideal vision is that of a long career based entirely from creative work.  i want to make life-long friends who inspire me, meet new people all the time, travel the world while doing it, and create fun, fulfilling, exciting projects, all the while spreading love and inspiration, and sharing what i have with the whole wide world.

is that so unrealistic???

yes, idealism is definitely like a drug sometimes.  i believe that at one point i abused idealism and i was so drunk and retarded on it that i thought things would just happen to me, and so maybe that meant i didn’t have to work so hard.  [maybe not so] coincidentally, that’s also when i was living a very i-don’t-give-a-fuck life where i would drink too much on a semi-regular basis, hold onto relationships that didn’t work, or even darker, walk a fine line between dating and being exploited.

[shudder]

ultimately that was by nobody but myself.

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

ok, that one’s not jung, but it’s very relevant ok?  it was selfish.  all i was really doing was fueling my wussy addictions.  sure, i might not have been a coked out trainwreck, but the patterns that i was calling my “life” at the time were getting in the way of me actually doing anything REAL.  i was using.  whether it be substances (like alcohol or sugar), relationships, negative thought patterns, or self-sabotage, i was using those things to escape my responsibilities in creating the life i envision.  and that’s the difference.  when you use it correctly (medicinally?) idealism can be a tool used in actualizing your dreams.  the operative word being actualizing.  you cannot forge an acting [or any] career just based on dreaming alone.  you have to do a shit ton of work and when it comes to acting, much of that work is emotional and spiritual in nature.  you cannot be a miserable fuck and expect to get tons of acting roles NOT the part of “miserable fuck.”  it is just not possible.  at least not for me.  there are not slews of breakdowns calling for miserable fucking asian chicks, i can promise you that.

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people. ” — Carl Jung

– and in an actor’s case, dealing with the darkness of characters you play.  see, there very well could be a role one day that calls for a miserable fuck, but what they don’t tell you is that usually, the actual miserable fuck doesn’t get the job and instead, the guy who gets it is that well balanced person who is able to access their inner miserable fuck because ultimately, nobody wants to hang around a real miserable fucking fuck.  YA FOLLOW?

SO, how do you become well balanced?

“There is no coming to consciousness without pain.” — Carl Jung

Oh, carl, you.  you’re right.  you’re always right!  It can be very painful to let go of things, emotions, patterns, and especially relationships.  but he’s right.  sometimes you have to let go of old attachments that no longer serve you (or worse, that enable toxic behavior) in order to progress to higher ground.  sigh.  C to the J you are the man.  if you were alive, i would sooo let you psychoanalyze the shit outta me.  HOT.

i recently stumbled upon this glorious page of quotes, after what was probably another late night psychoanalysis-based astrology bender, and i fell in lurrrrve.  carl speaks to me.  he describes all this shit that i had basically been going through on my own the last few years.  and since that fateful day, i have been quite quote-happy in hopes of inspiring others and to offer encouragement.  i see so much talent, creativity, and passion everyday from all kinds of people in all walks of life.  on the freaking internetz!  facepoo!  twatter!  i lurve youz!  it makes me so happy!!  ALL i want to do EVER is to encourage ya’ll to tap into your creative powers all the time!!!  together we can save the world!!!

oh silly sadge and her ideals.

and yes, carl, this means i do still heed your warning about idealism seriously, because the danger of living completely in the world of ideals is the risk of ending up being completely disconnected from the real world, never being happy with relationships, and/or missing out on the beauty of life that is happening in the HERE and NOW while chasing my idealistic dreams.  oh that and winding up alone and childless forever.  ouch.

so i am declaring my intention to fully awaken to the present, to enjoy life, and to always be grateful for what i have NOW.  and i encourage you to declare this intention as well.  the rest will follow.  i know this.  i trust this.

live this.

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart.  Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” — C to the J

the gifts i received:

my theatrical soul agent and already a like-family friend.

a magical chance to audition for, get to director’s session with, and be called for avail, on a HUGE studio sequel, based on the casting directors remembering my audition from 3 years ago.  wtf.  i love this town.

so now, with my little army in place, it’s time for me to bring it.  over and over and over again in every door that will accept me and never be upset if i don’t get something now and i will celebrate the shit out of all my near misses.  because they remember.

and when the right role comes, i’ll be prepared with all my heartmindsoul.

and then we’ll fucking party.

brother from another universe lee clower

x

these words helped me today.

i freaking love life.  so many secret signs everywhere.  so excited, happy, and feeling really good.

oh, btw i got an email today that made me shake with excitement for 30 minutes life is that good.  funny thing is, it wasn’t even news.  yet.  obviously when it becomes news officially, i shall certainly share it with you.

oh, and some more photos from that little room shoot.