I am pretty transparent in sharing my own discoveries from eating raw foods to quantum study and you know what? I’m manifesting some amazing experiences in my life because of it! And, the biggest lesson of all that all the greats and all the masters have ever said is to not take life too seriously. Laugh often and enjoy life. So…

People break their backs trying to support themselves in the old paradigm world we have lived in for so long and life can be so much easier if we all just shared and loved a little. In fact, a LOT! We share resources and support each other the way tribal cultures do and it WORKS. Amazingly!

The funny thing is, last year I remember telling one of my best friends that I was manifesting an experience like this because of a vision I had of community. I imagined a house much like the one I live in now, with the most brilliant minds (which they are), and all with the same dream: To uplift humanity through art, creativity, and to live and teach self sustainability.

BAM. The Universe provides.

but look what i’ve got for you after all these months!! i recently got to partake in a project spawned from the creative labs of ELEVATE as a response to a Will Ferrell parody of the video Dear Woman, a video based on the “Manifesto for Conscious Men,” which has gotten quite a number of hits on Youtube and has raised a bit of discussion amongst men and women alike regarding the dance of the masculine and feminine energies that lie within all of us. now, i won’t go into all that too deep this time around, but let’s just say a yin yang ain’t only the decal on your weed grinders folks. we’ll get back to that one.

and thing is, because this is a topic that isn’t right up at the top of every person’s consciousness, it’s easy to make mockery of such, which is exactly what Will Ferrell and friends did with this gem:

Will Ferrell, i love you. which is why i am honored to be a participant of this letter to you, in “Dear Will Ferrell.” please watch, enjoy, rate, share…anything ya’ll feel. i love y’all!

the rapture.

JUDGMENT DAY.

i was indeed judged today. yup. i got hacked. and you know what my punishment was? 24 hours without facebook. i’d say i did pretty good.

thanks GOD. love ya.

for real though i’m really thankful for today, ya know? it’s kind of amazing really. the download i keep getting is that it is a judgment day of sorts for the collective consciousness. even if we know deep in our hearts that the world isn’t going to physically end for the majority of humans today, many of us are weighing this day in our minds. both our conscious AND subconscious minds. did you know our subconscious minds process 400 billion bits of information per second while our conscious minds only process 40 bits per second? and because you can consciously control your conscious mind, you can know well and good that nothing crazy is gonna go down today. you can rationalize the hell out of it and be focused on all your other shit and know the day is just gonna continue as per usual etc., etc….

but your subconscious mind is processing ALLLLLL possibilities. which means there is deep deep within you, something that is saying, “yes, but what if…”

and that ‘what if’ is a beautiful thing.

because what IF the world WAS ending today? what if it was? this is not to be fatalistic at all people. no. it is…

an opportunity.

maybe some people are only asking themselves in their subconscious minds and if you read this, then are encouraged to ask yourself consciously, but today… TODAY. today and the days that follow…

the question is:

was it all worth it?

i mean, isn’t that what facing our mortality all about?

judgment day. judgment day. i know my 3 dimensional reality will not end on this day. but what is ending, what has been ending for me through a whole process, is the restraint of my fully expressed self. these last few days i’ve heard the teeny tiny voices in there asking myself, “…ok. now… hypothetically speaking, let’s just say ‘what if.’ what if it did end… did i live my life fully? did i love fully? did i follow my dreams?”

and the answer?

yes. yes and yes. yes and yes and YESS!!!

and there is always room for more. let me repeat: there is always room for more.

more life. more dreams. more LOVE.

because all of that is infinite.

and i fully understand that i choose my path. that i can choose either suffering or i can choose love. this is the human condition. and for me, after years of digging deep into my heart to release all the stuff that was blocking love, i face myself today and i love what i see because all i see is love. i look into the world and all i see is love. i see every single human being and all i see is love. every single animal, every single plant, every single star, every single pixel of space. every single fractal of existence.

this beautiful beautiful beautiful hologram we call life.

i am so grateful.

i’m grateful for you for reading this and allowing me the opportunity to share. truly. creating this blog almost two years ago was therapy for me and knowing i had readers checking in from all over the world inspired me to live with the highest integrity, which is truly a healing healing gift and i thank you.

and i’m grateful i got hacked. i’m grateful i can’t sign into fb for another 12 hours and 59 min. not that i’m counting.

but the lockout gave me space to give the other outlets some lovin. if you follow my twitter or blog, you may have noticed i have been a bit negligent. but it’s only because i’ve been uber present in my non-digital life.

except for fb. find me suckas and let’s be friends. (Patty YUniverse) <— i know, i know. and i make zero apologies for my dorkdom.

i love yous.

photo by miss tay tay.

lots of stuff in this first month of 2011…where do i begin? i suppose first of all, you should know i discovered that all this time since high school i’ve been typing incorrectly and losing the hearts of typographers everywhere by putting not one, but TWO spaces after each period of a sentence. not my fault! thanks, north carolina typing class teacher. needless to say, i will NOT be going back through my whole blog to correct this travesty.

DEAL, typographers.

next on the list: the episode of BONES that i appeared in aired last week. wohoo! t’was a non-speaking co-star, but i mentioned previously about having to reshoot the “love” scene because it was too sexy. apparently, sex — according to FOX network — does not involve any movement whatsoever. the first time we shot it i was specifically requested to rock wit u, but then the second time i was explicitly told, “less gyrating.”

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, FOX.

anyhow, here’s a screen-capture — click it to watch the full episode on imdb:

this episode is written by an asian american writer and contains some content that miiight be construed as stereotyping…i dunno you tell me haha (i will play dumb for now). i found it humorous (don’t like to take everything too seriously ya know?), but perhaps it’s a way to start a dialogue. thoughts? i would love to know what ya’ll think after you watch it…

AND THEN the last order of business is…wait for it…

DRUNKEN CHEF!

my friends Courtney and Jose created a web series of that very title, and it stars Jose, as himself, as The Drunken Chef. they asked me to guest star in this episode and we had a grand time shooting it. i was already well off the sauce when we shot this, although the crew (and drunken chef himself) enjoyed some beers. i think it was equally fun just pretending.

enjoy…

this is happening to me.  over and over and over again.

complete transformation.

wtf [inthebestway].

it used to take so much time for me to change, and as i mentioned before, i seem to be changing faster and faster… at the speed of light.

even just a year ago i was still living in toxicity.  so much better than before, but still attached to a way of life that did not serve me one freaking bit.  alcohol?  binge eating?  exploiting myself?

however, through all the pain that i was not allowing myself to feel (with plenty of heavy medication of the herbal variety), my true self persevered.

i knew…

there are so many turning points i don’t even know how to begin listing them.  but the most influential step was my change in HEALTH.  this change began with removing toxic foods.  good GOD, i truly hope and wish for all people to realize how much eating toxic, non-organic, cooked denatured food FUCKS WITH YOU.  it fucks with ALL of your being — body, mind, spirit.  these are all so connected my loves.  i wish for all of you to feel liberated like i do.

it was no one person’s fault in my life that i was eating cooked, denatured foods as the staple.  habits are usually passed down from generation to generation.  through memes, society, and culture.  what American kid doesn’t like to chow down on some freakin’ pizza for example???  Oooh yum, a non-organic, gmo wheat crusted, hormone injected cheesy, sulfite infused meaty grease pancake?  MMMmmmmmMMmmm… can’t wait to feed that to my future kids!!!  i am baffled by parents who feed themselves so well, but then give in to their child’s demands for junk food.  who knows best here???

listen folks, i don’t mean to get all preachy up on a soap box or anything.  i just CARE ABOUT YOU.  soooo much!  and i hate seeing my fellow human beings suffering and in pain, just like i was a few years ago.  what i didn’t realize for so much of my life was that in actuality, i was severely malnourished.  and thing is, we don’t see what’s going on in our bodies, so sometimes we don’t always recognize what we feel in our bodies.

how did my lack of health manifest in my life then?  well… the best way i can explain is that i projected all that lack onto how i experienced my external environment.  bear with me, this might be confusing, but i was two versions of myself.  the internal experience of my life was mired in frustration, insecurity, anger, dependencies, jealousy, discomfort, dread, paranoia, possessiveness, fear, self loathing, judgment, dissatisfaction.  totally outta control.

people who know me would probably say, “what?  what do you mean?  we never see you like that.  you’re the most stable person i know!”  well, that’s what i thank all you people for.  everyone ELSE in my life (and by this i mean both the people within close proximity to my physical being AND every single human being on this freaking planet), gave me a grounding force for my true self — my true self that i could hold for others — loving, caring, helpful, steadfast, trustworthy, compassionate, seeing, knowing.  that is my true self.  this is always who i knew i am.

somehow i could hold that for others, but internally i was crying out so much inside with pain and not giving myself this love.  i became a serial [codependent] monogamist.  strings of codependent relationships (long and short) that both kept me from self-combustion but also still enabled my pain.  through the love i have for people i could maintain part of my best self for them when they needed me, but truthfully i still needed to be needed/wanted.  and because i wasn’t living my highest self, i wasn’t attracting others living their highest self either.  so in every relationship i created i was still clawing at ideals, knowing things weren’t right and trying to “fix” them, but not necessarily having the right tools.

whew.  this is heavy shit folks.  did i lose anyone there?

i’d say my transformation really kicked off years ago, with many ups and downs, lots of progress, and plenty of relapsing.  but in the last six months the change has been a whirlwind.  i was never a super heavy drinker, but alcohol fell away halfway through 2010 and i don’t see it coming back anytime soon.  there’s just no space for it anymore in my life.  what a waste of time really.  for me.  no judgment.

then the food choices really changed for good within the last six months as well.  i started eating only organic and mostly raw, living food.  nature’s best.

god’s candy.

the affect this has had on my body, mind, and soul is just extraordinary and fucking magical.  to be honest, the reason i started this shift in diet had many reasons based out of vanity.  the business i’m in puts a lot of pressure on women to be slim and i was having a difficult time controlling my intake of food (why?  I WAS MALNOURISHED!!!).  and yes.  i’ve gotten physically measurable results.  and i literally CURED my allergies.  they’re gone.  GONE.  not just lessened, reduced, or milder anymore.  they’ve completely DISAPPEARED.

but i’ve also gained so much more.

what i’ve now gained because of changing my diet is beyond anything i could have hoped.  i am seeing my real body for the first time in years.  i see myself exactly how i am.  there have been times in the past where i dropped weight and i still saw something else.  i was still dissatisfied.  always deficient in some way.

but now i see.  i see me.  cleansing my whole physical self freed up so much energy in my body that my mental and spiritual self healed as well.

how?  mentally i’m sharper than ever before.  and ravenous for new information.  this lead me to also give up the ganj, which was my medicine for a very long time.  again, it just seems a waste of time right now.  i’m enjoying clarity too much to fuzz that shit up.

and spiritually?

well.

where the fuck do i begin folks?  this is some seriously metaphysical shit that may need to be shared in another post because it will certainly take more than a few sentences.  but what i do want to say is that i remember as a child believing that i had super powers.

and often our innocent, pure children are the real harbingers of truth.

um… leaving it at that for now.

ok, i won’t leave you just with that.  but spiritually i’ve awoken to love.  truly loving myself and being able to give love to all.  i didn’t love myself before.  i wasn’t happy.  i didn’t enjoy life.  and now i do.  there’s so much love i don’t know what to do with it!  it’s just pouring out these days.  i love you all so much.  i’ve always felt the collective energy of my fellow human beings and there is just an overwhelming need for love in this world.  i love you so much.  so so much.  i promise to do everything in my power to show you true love.  there is nothing i want more in life than to find a way for you to feel true, unwavering, unconditional love.  i intend to do so and i know you’ll all join me as you awaken in spirit as well.  so much love.  so much love lying dormant within all you lovely little creatures.  meow yum.

we’re coming into an age where it is no longer about give or take, peeps.  instead it’s about give and receive.  because receiving is giving too.  giving and taking is just buying and you just can’t buy love.

love unconditionally and it will just come around back to you.  that is truly how it works people.

have a good look at yourself and love yourself.  love every part of you — the best and the worst.  release the guilt.  release the judgment.  release the shame.  release everything that doesn’t serve you.  they aren’t yours.  they never were yours.  and it’s not anyone’s fault.  everyone did the best they could with the tools they had.  our bodies are made up of a trail of generations before us, and it holds so much that isn’t us, but we can release it, with compassion being the number one tool.

harness this tool and you’ll unlock your own powers.  you’ll free yourself from the chains of the past.  you will cream your pants at how good it feels.

i promise.

love yous.

photo by tay tay

excessive as it’s become (as with all American EVERYTHING), it is one of my favorite times of the year.

why?

well, for one, i can actually feel the surge of collective gratitude emanating around us.

thanksgiving is one of those holidays where, even though humans are scrambling and stressing to buy just the right things to complete just the right process to create just the right colon blockage, we are also insistently reminded to think of what we appreciate in our lives.

what we are thankful for.

wow.  i mean you can feel it if you just slowed down a second.

if you close your eyes…

breathe slowly in and out of your nose…

and let time slow down…

the gratitude is practically…

palpable.

THIS is the power of the collective mind.  THIS is what we should be doing EVERY MUTHA FUCKIN DAY.

this is HEALING.

we are so lucky, my fellow humans.  we are SO SO SO SO SO freaking lucky.  and did you know?  when we take these moments to be grateful for all the wonderful gifts the universe brings us, whether it’s material success or personal challenges, if we all just start to see these as gifts, and we navigate through both the successes and challenges equally with grace and gratitude, then the universe will only bestow even more gifts to us.

call it God, call it Luck, call it Manifestation, call it whatever the flying fuck you want.

but i will tell you right now, withOUT gratitude and growth, there is little room created for abundance.  let’s look at relationships for example.  whenever one fuck feels taken for granted by another fuck, the first fuck starts to WITHHOLD.  this is not a foreign concept to most of you, as you have probably all been in one or both of those roles (god knows this bitch has), so let’s all just be honest with ourselves.

anyhow, i’m not here to make anyone rehash old heartaches or any of that bullshit, i just want to remind ya’ll that we are all powerfully creative beings who CREATE our lives — our REALITIES.  and in order to really live life fully, we really must learn to hold onto this feeling of gratitude and practice it every day.

take 60 seconds and close your eyes.

feel the beautiful, positive energy that connects us all today.  do you feel it?  do you feel the joy that’s been putting a hop and skip in the step of strangers all around you as you prepare for this day?  FEEL IT.  hug it.  kiss it.  hell, rub up on it, hump it, whatever you feel compelled to do to it — no judgement — it probably enjoys it as much as you do.  but really feel it!

now imagine yourself harnessing that love with your heart and send that healing energy to all your friends, your loved ones, your babies, your animals, your bosses, your co-workers, your community, all the people you come in contact with today…

but even more importantly, send it out to the rest of the world, to our fellow human beings, to others who have much fewer material luxuries than we do, to others who are suffering from malnutrition, from hunger, from homelessness, from disease, and despair.  take this moment to realize that we have so much.

we have SO MUCH.

i am so grateful for all my fellow human beings.  i am so grateful to have a healthy, active mind that can visualize and see a future where humans understand that fighting serves no purpose anymore.  i am so grateful for such amazing, beautiful diversity in our world that we share.  i am so grateful to have the ability and opportunities to serve others, to help others, to encourage others.  i am so grateful for all the challenges that life presents, and grateful for the opportunity to meet and overcome those challenges.  i am so grateful for the ability to change and grow, this ability that is innate within all of us.  every single one of us.  i am grateful for every single human being in this world.  every person, regardless of where you are on the path to self realization, whether you are still lost in the dark, living in the light, or walking the journey in between.  i am so grateful for you.  i am so grateful and i have so much love for every single one of you because you are me and i am you and without each other we would not exist.

i am so grateful.  so so grateful.  my heart just overflows with love for all of you.

today is so beautiful because there is so much of that love energy flowing.  let’s remember to live in love every day my friends.  imagine if we all loved each other this much every day, what that collective flow of love would feel like next thanksgiving.  how much that field of energy will have grown.  if we vowed to love this much everyday, imagine how many hearts we could heal.  if we vowed to love this much everyday, imagine how the world would heal.

i imagine this everyday.

everyday i imagine this.

and my heart just continues to fill with love.  and i realize that love is limitless.  love is infinite.  love is ever present and always there for you to tap into.  love is so abundant that it will always overflow.  all you need to do is feel it.  it’s right here for you.  it’s right here.

right here.

and if you are confused and you can’t feel it, it’s ok.  and just know that i love you.  i love you.  i love you so much.  i love you so so much.  and i know that whatever challenge you face is one you have the ability to overcome.  and i believe in you.  i really do.  there is so much love in my heart and it’s here for you.

so if anything, feel my heart.  because i love you.  unconditionally.

i love you so much.

i love you so much.

so so so much, my beautifuls.

i love you so much.

xxxxxx

photo by lee clower

blurrr…..what is the meaning of this?