Back in September I went to Burning Man. I came home to Ojai and into the ELEVATE estate with a group of artists, filmmakers, producers, designers, programmers, and other badass, highly skilled people and I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH. We are participating in the grandest social experiment of my life: living and working in community. Why? Well, why not?
People break their backs trying to support themselves in the old paradigm world we have lived in for so long and life can be so much easier if we all just shared and loved a little. In fact, a LOT! We share resources and support each other the way tribal cultures do and it WORKS. Amazingly!
The funny thing is, last year I remember telling one of my best friends that I was manifesting an experience like this because of a vision I had of community. I imagined a house much like the one I live in now, with the most brilliant minds (which they are), and all with the same dream: To uplift humanity through art, creativity, and to live and teach self sustainability.
I love my ELEVATE community. We are all human and deal with the banality of cleaning our house every day. I’m sure you’ve all experienced having to clean up after someone else. This is why we make the effort to have as much fun as possible doing the most mundane things! Enjoy!
but look what i’ve got for you after all these months!! i recently got to partake in a project spawned from the creative labs of ELEVATE as a response to a Will Ferrell parody of the video Dear Woman, a video based on the “Manifesto for Conscious Men,” which has gotten quite a number of hits on Youtube and has raised a bit of discussion amongst men and women alike regarding the dance of the masculine and feminine energies that lie within all of us. now, i won’t go into all that too deep this time around, but let’s just say a yin yang ain’t only the decal on your weed grinders folks. we’ll get back to that one.
and thing is, because this is a topic that isn’t right up at the top of every person’s consciousness, it’s easy to make mockery of such, which is exactly what Will Ferrell and friends did with this gem:
Will Ferrell, i love you. which is why i am honored to be a participant of this letter to you, in “Dear Will Ferrell.” please watch, enjoy, rate, share…anything ya’ll feel. i love y’all!
i was indeed judged today. yup. i got hacked. and you know what my punishment was? 24 hours without facebook. i’d say i did pretty good.
thanks GOD. love ya.
for real though i’m really thankful for today, ya know? it’s kind of amazing really. the download i keep getting is that it is a judgment day of sorts for the collective consciousness. even if we know deep in our hearts that the world isn’t going to physically end for the majority of humans today, many of us are weighing this day in our minds. both our conscious AND subconscious minds. did you know our subconscious minds process 400 billion bits of information per second while our conscious minds only process 40 bits per second? and because you can consciously control your conscious mind, you can know well and good that nothing crazy is gonna go down today. you can rationalize the hell out of it and be focused on all your other shit and know the day is just gonna continue as per usual etc., etc….
but your subconscious mind is processing ALLLLLL possibilities. which means there is deep deep within you, something that is saying, “yes, but what if…”
and that ‘what if’ is a beautiful thing.
because what IF the world WAS ending today? what if it was? this is not to be fatalistic at all people. no. it is…
an opportunity.
maybe some people are only asking themselves in their subconscious minds and if you read this, then are encouraged to ask yourself consciously, but today… TODAY. today and the days that follow…
the question is:
was it all worth it?
i mean, isn’t that what facing our mortality all about?
judgment day. judgment day. i know my 3 dimensional reality will not end on this day. but what is ending, what has been ending for me through a whole process, is the restraint of my fully expressed self. these last few days i’ve heard the teeny tiny voices in there asking myself, “…ok. now… hypothetically speaking, let’s just say ‘what if.’ what if it did end… did i live my life fully? did i love fully? did i follow my dreams?”
and the answer?
yes. yes and yes. yes and yes and YESS!!!
and there is always room for more. let me repeat: there is always room for more.
more life. more dreams. more LOVE.
because all of that is infinite.
and i fully understand that i choose my path. that i can choose either suffering or i can choose love. this is the human condition. and for me, after years of digging deep into my heart to release all the stuff that was blocking love, i face myself today and i love what i see because all i see is love. i look into the world and all i see is love. i see every single human being and all i see is love. every single animal, every single plant, every single star, every single pixel of space. every single fractal of existence.
this beautiful beautiful beautiful hologram we call life.
i am so grateful.
i’m grateful for you for reading this and allowing me the opportunity to share. truly. creating this blog almost two years ago was therapy for me and knowing i had readers checking in from all over the world inspired me to live with the highest integrity, which is truly a healing healing gift and i thank you.
and i’m grateful i got hacked. i’m grateful i can’t sign into fb for another 12 hours and 59 min. not that i’m counting.
but the lockout gave me space to give the other outlets some lovin. if you follow my twitter or blog, you may have noticed i have been a bit negligent. but it’s only because i’ve been uber present in my non-digital life.
except for fb. find me suckas and let’s be friends. (Patty YUniverse) <— i know, i know. and i make zero apologies for my dorkdom.
as usual, transformation is the name of the game peeps. not surprising to me anymore, as this IS the time. it’s now or never!!
are you noticing it as well? noticing yourself and the people around you making changes, or if not consciously making them, situations “occur” to cause a shift? if you presence yourself and pay attention to the world around you, patterns and synchronicities emerge. everywhere. major shifts in our lives and major shifts on the planet, in our bodies, in our hearts, all mirroring each other so synchronistically. it’s so fucking beautiful and amazing i can hardly stand it! i am really just using an old paradigm figure of speech, because not only can i stand it, i am just reveling in it. soaking it up, yum yum fucking YUM.
let me ask you: how good can YOU stand it?
obviously, if you saw my last post, you heard me go on about exploring raw cuisine, and the many positive effects it has had on my health and spirit. and i realize rather than label myself a raw foodist, i’ve evolved into an intuitive eater, where i generally prefer food with a high content of nutrition, and that subsists of fresh, organically grown food, the less treated the better, and ultimately balance is the key.
when i began this exploration, my intention was to cleanse my body of all the toxins we take in on a regular basis eating processed and conventionally grown foods. i am so so so so grateful for this book i found called Secrets of An Alkaline Body, written by Annie Jubb. she opened a restaurant called Lifefood Organic near my place in hollywood, and discovering it, her, and the book… well, it saved my life. i am completely serious when i say this.
whatever was brewing beneath the surface that i couldn’t see but could intuitively feel, that probably wouldn’t have caused any “serious” issues for many years still, was causing a lot of fear deep in my mind. the deep fear came from not knowing. and not knowing creates lack of ease (hello? dis-ease!). this fear over not knowing kept me re-living my old patterns, which would have surely lead to disease. that is, until i gave myself the gift of bringing the parts of me sinking into the dark back into light. literally. for me, this was through food. i brought in more light — light created by the synthesis of the sun and the earth and our plants — back into my physical body.
this is fucking LIFE FORCE.
by seeking knowledge, i discovered knowing. by exercising integrity and intentionally changing my old patterns, i created ease. which came from harnessing the light. and the light is… well… ready? God. Source. Creator. Is. Be. Am. Us. You. Me. Whateveryouwannacallexistence.
and it blew my heart open. ok ok, so you’ve heard this already yes?
so why is this coming up again?
well.
it has to do with a few sexy pictures that i’ve been hesitant to share.
HA!
this is certainly, by far, my most spiritual segue into sexy photos [to date].
but you see, this hesitancy to share is teaching me SOOOOO much about the whole process i’m going through discovering my true self. the photos are of course, from my annual summer shoot with my brother from another galaxy, lee clower. my connection with lee and the images we co-create is a channel for me to share an aspect of myself that i had kept in a pattern of hiding. it is an aspect innate within me — in fact, a gift — innate in all of us.
our sexuality.
the pure energy of creation. this energy is so beautiful, so amazing, so deep, so fucking fire engine yes solar flare yes more aliens yes bursting universal loving yes ecstasy yes YES YES YES!
and yet… we are told our whole lives no no no…
that energy is shameful. you shouldn’t share that. you’ll be judged. you’ll be exploited. you’ll be stripped of your dignity. and to add another layer to the mix, we are also taught that our bodies should be “perfect.” perfect? what’s perfect??? and as defined by who???
when i was still “toxic” i bought into a lot of the shame and guilt. i required spiritual assistance (aka my friend big Green) to bring me to a place even close to self-acceptance. and since we’ve already established that i pretty much tell you everything (i mean, sheesh, if you just read from the beginning, this blog is basically a map of patty yu’s journey to self discovery), i totally used that “assistance” for this shoot, taken only halfway into my “spiritual transformation.” i say halfway because i was consciously doing a lot of looking inward to “exorcise the demons” and making fantastic progress! but i was still recreating many of the same patterns.
and so, when i look at these photos, i am reminded of where i was then. i see in my eyes the pain of not knowing. and i see a body that i recognize as beautiful and sexy, but i know that it was mistreated, not fed for 2 days prior, because i felt out of control due to lack of any real knowledge about how to nourish it. i recognize the confused me in those photos and i remember her. and my hesitation to share is me pausing to feel through those memories.
the echos of fear. echos of shame. echos of guilt.
but i know something changed. for good. and therefore i release all my judgment and i honor her. for making that shift. to get her to me.
to now.
because now i live in bliss every day. now i see myself in the light.
and i appreciate, and cherish, and nourish, and love my self, like we all deserve to be loved. nourished. cherished. appreciated.
and for whatever reason i am compelled to just share all of this process. to perhaps illuminate the complexity of self-consciousness, and how that can manifest within the human mind. i share this information to assist in your transformation, should you seek it.
because i appreciate, and cherish, and nourish, and love YOU, like YOU deserve to be loved. nourished. cherished. appreciated.
i ruv yous.
whew!
now that was a lot of foreplay…
are you as curious as i am how the next shoot will go?
love you lee. i am so grateful to co-create with you.
Last week President Obama and Secretary Vilsack approved Monsanto’s GMO alfalfa despite overwhelming public protest. This move fundamentally undermines the organic industry, especially organic meat and dairy. In approving GMO alfalfa the Obama administration has caved to Monsanto and made it harder for family farmers to make a living and for consumers wanting to eat safe, healthy foods.
It was during your race for the presidency that i felt renewed hope in the future of our country. For the first time since seeing the world through the eyes of a naive little girl, I felt a renewed hope that we would together create a country that stands united for the betterment of mankind. I saw a glimmer of the future and I knew that you would be elected, and that you would be a beacon of light, who would inspire masses and bring forth great substantial change. I remember reassuring those who were still wrought with the old paradigm of fear that you would go on to lead us. I had unwavering faith.
When you came into office, I saw you and Michelle Obama as true examples of a new standard that all human beings should be held up to. Michelle’s leadership on the health front showed me it was possible that our leaders could truly care about the highest good of our citizens, rather than the pockets of the richest of rich.
When I learned about the Monsanto GMO alfalfa, the fear almost returned. I say almost because the fight isn’t over. But although I have no fear, much of that hope you once inspired was replaced with deep disappointment. Two years ago I would have NEVER imagined that your administration could possibly approve such a move. Perhaps that little girl in me, the idealistic dreamer, was unrealistic in believing that a historic president like you would be impervious to bending to the will of such powerhouses of control. I am saddened, and that little girl in me weeps for this fragment of broken dreams.
However, I want you to know that I believe the people will rise to the occasion. I believe that the people will vote with their dollars. I believe that we are the change we seek. Truly. Deeply. And while this plea to reverse your decision may fall on deaf ears, I am inspired and invigorated by the voice of the people who are standing up fearlessly for what is RIGHT. For what is in the best interest of the collective. And although this decision is a tremendous disappointment, it gives fuel to the movement and awakening of my fellow human beings. We refuse to be in chains and I promise that I will do everything in my power to help mankind, step by step, little by little, to free ourselves from the grasp of powers we did NOT choose in this lifetime. I do this for my parents. I do this for my future children. I do this for my neighbors. I do this for my country. I do this for my world. I do this for my planet. I do this for me. And I do this for you.
Thank you for what change you have brought into place so far. I encourage you to live fearlessly, President Obama. There is only now, and our purpose here is to live in truth.
i used to make a lot of excuses. i admit it. there were lots. i didn’t realize how much at the time. i had excuses for when i would start eating right, start exercising, to take classes, to be creative, to drink water, to build my career, to examine my relationships, to heal relationships, to connect with my family, to go out with friends, to meet new people. christ, you name it, i’ve made an excuse to NOT do it at least one point in my life.
this doesn’t mean i NEVER did what i knew i had to do. i did. it just certainly took a while* even though i always knew in my heart who i could be.
i used to repeat my “story” as an excuse.
“Once upon a time… blah blah blah… and that’s how i got all fucked up in life, so that’s why i can’t be what you want me to be.”
ooh… that’s interesting. “what you want me to be… “ that just sort of slipped out, but it’s profound. why do we go through life thinking we need to be what others want us to be? Continue Reading…
have you ever woken up one day and realized you are a completely different person?
this is happening to me. over and over and over again.
complete transformation.
wtf [inthebestway].
it used to take so much time for me to change, and as i mentioned before, i seem to be changing faster and faster… at the speed of light.
even just a year ago i was still living in toxicity. so much better than before, but still attached to a way of life that did not serve me one freaking bit. alcohol? binge eating? exploiting myself?
however, through all the pain that i was not allowing myself to feel (with plenty of heavy medication of the herbal variety), my true self persevered.
photo by miss tay tay.
