People break their backs trying to support themselves in the old paradigm world we have lived in for so long and life can be so much easier if we all just shared and loved a little. In fact, a LOT! We share resources and support each other the way tribal cultures do and it WORKS. Amazingly!

The funny thing is, last year I remember telling one of my best friends that I was manifesting an experience like this because of a vision I had of community. I imagined a house much like the one I live in now, with the most brilliant minds (which they are), and all with the same dream: To uplift humanity through art, creativity, and to live and teach self sustainability.

BAM. The Universe provides.

but look what i’ve got for you after all these months!! i recently got to partake in a project spawned from the creative labs of ELEVATE as a response to a Will Ferrell parody of the video Dear Woman, a video based on the “Manifesto for Conscious Men,” which has gotten quite a number of hits on Youtube and has raised a bit of discussion amongst men and women alike regarding the dance of the masculine and feminine energies that lie within all of us. now, i won’t go into all that too deep this time around, but let’s just say a yin yang ain’t only the decal on your weed grinders folks. we’ll get back to that one.

and thing is, because this is a topic that isn’t right up at the top of every person’s consciousness, it’s easy to make mockery of such, which is exactly what Will Ferrell and friends did with this gem:

Will Ferrell, i love you. which is why i am honored to be a participant of this letter to you, in “Dear Will Ferrell.” please watch, enjoy, rate, share…anything ya’ll feel. i love y’all!

the rapture.

JUDGMENT DAY.

i was indeed judged today. yup. i got hacked. and you know what my punishment was? 24 hours without facebook. i’d say i did pretty good.

thanks GOD. love ya.

for real though i’m really thankful for today, ya know? it’s kind of amazing really. the download i keep getting is that it is a judgment day of sorts for the collective consciousness. even if we know deep in our hearts that the world isn’t going to physically end for the majority of humans today, many of us are weighing this day in our minds. both our conscious AND subconscious minds. did you know our subconscious minds process 400 billion bits of information per second while our conscious minds only process 40 bits per second? and because you can consciously control your conscious mind, you can know well and good that nothing crazy is gonna go down today. you can rationalize the hell out of it and be focused on all your other shit and know the day is just gonna continue as per usual etc., etc….

but your subconscious mind is processing ALLLLLL possibilities. which means there is deep deep within you, something that is saying, “yes, but what if…”

and that ‘what if’ is a beautiful thing.

because what IF the world WAS ending today? what if it was? this is not to be fatalistic at all people. no. it is…

an opportunity.

maybe some people are only asking themselves in their subconscious minds and if you read this, then are encouraged to ask yourself consciously, but today… TODAY. today and the days that follow…

the question is:

was it all worth it?

i mean, isn’t that what facing our mortality all about?

judgment day. judgment day. i know my 3 dimensional reality will not end on this day. but what is ending, what has been ending for me through a whole process, is the restraint of my fully expressed self. these last few days i’ve heard the teeny tiny voices in there asking myself, “…ok. now… hypothetically speaking, let’s just say ‘what if.’ what if it did end… did i live my life fully? did i love fully? did i follow my dreams?”

and the answer?

yes. yes and yes. yes and yes and YESS!!!

and there is always room for more. let me repeat: there is always room for more.

more life. more dreams. more LOVE.

because all of that is infinite.

and i fully understand that i choose my path. that i can choose either suffering or i can choose love. this is the human condition. and for me, after years of digging deep into my heart to release all the stuff that was blocking love, i face myself today and i love what i see because all i see is love. i look into the world and all i see is love. i see every single human being and all i see is love. every single animal, every single plant, every single star, every single pixel of space. every single fractal of existence.

this beautiful beautiful beautiful hologram we call life.

i am so grateful.

i’m grateful for you for reading this and allowing me the opportunity to share. truly. creating this blog almost two years ago was therapy for me and knowing i had readers checking in from all over the world inspired me to live with the highest integrity, which is truly a healing healing gift and i thank you.

and i’m grateful i got hacked. i’m grateful i can’t sign into fb for another 12 hours and 59 min. not that i’m counting.

but the lockout gave me space to give the other outlets some lovin. if you follow my twitter or blog, you may have noticed i have been a bit negligent. but it’s only because i’ve been uber present in my non-digital life.

except for fb. find me suckas and let’s be friends. (Patty YUniverse) <— i know, i know. and i make zero apologies for my dorkdom.

i love yous.

photo by miss tay tay.

life is so amazing and beautiful….

yes, yes…i realize it’s been a while.

what’s changed, really?

EVERYTHING.

as usual, transformation is the name of the game peeps. not surprising to me anymore, as this IS the time. it’s now or never!!

are you noticing it as well? noticing yourself and the people around you making changes, or if not consciously making them, situations “occur” to cause a shift? if you presence yourself and pay attention to the world around you, patterns and synchronicities emerge. everywhere. major shifts in our lives and major shifts on the planet, in our bodies, in our hearts, all mirroring each other so synchronistically. it’s so fucking beautiful and amazing i can hardly stand it! i am really just using an old paradigm figure of speech, because not only can i stand it, i am just reveling in it. soaking it up, yum yum fucking YUM.

let me ask you: how good can YOU stand it?

obviously, if you saw my last post, you heard me go on about exploring raw cuisine, and the many positive effects it has had on my health and spirit. and i realize rather than label myself a raw foodist, i’ve evolved into an intuitive eater, where i generally prefer food with a high content of nutrition, and that subsists of fresh, organically grown food, the less treated the better, and ultimately balance is the key.

when i began this exploration, my intention was to cleanse my body of all the toxins we take in on a regular basis eating processed and conventionally grown foods. i am so so so so grateful for this book i found called Secrets of An Alkaline Body, written by Annie Jubb. she opened a restaurant called Lifefood Organic near my place in hollywood, and discovering it, her, and the book… well, it saved my life. i am completely serious when i say this.

whatever was brewing beneath the surface that i couldn’t see but could intuitively feel, that probably wouldn’t have caused any “serious” issues for many years still, was causing a lot of fear deep in my mind. the deep fear came from not knowing. and not knowing creates lack of ease (hello? dis-ease!). this fear over not knowing kept me re-living my old patterns, which would have surely lead to disease. that is, until i gave myself the gift of bringing the parts of me sinking into the dark back into light. literally. for me, this was through food. i brought in more light — light created by the synthesis of the sun and the earth and our plants — back into my physical body.

this is fucking LIFE FORCE.

by seeking knowledge, i discovered knowing. by exercising integrity and intentionally changing my old patterns, i created ease. which came from harnessing the light. and the light is… well… ready? God. Source. Creator. Is. Be. Am. Us. You. Me. Whateveryouwannacallexistence.

and it blew my heart open. ok ok, so you’ve heard this already yes?

so why is this coming up again?

well.

it has to do with a few sexy pictures that i’ve been hesitant to share.

HA!

this is certainly, by far, my most spiritual segue into sexy photos [to date].

but you see, this hesitancy to share is teaching me SOOOOO much about the whole process i’m going through discovering my true self. the photos are of course, from my annual summer shoot with my brother from another galaxy, lee clower. my connection with lee and the images we co-create is a channel for me to share an aspect of myself that i had kept in a pattern of hiding. it is an aspect innate within me — in fact, a gift — innate in all of us.

our sexuality.

the pure energy of creation. this energy is so beautiful, so amazing, so deep, so fucking fire engine yes solar flare yes more aliens yes bursting universal loving yes ecstasy yes YES YES YES!

and yet… we are told our whole lives no no no…

that energy is shameful. you shouldn’t share that. you’ll be judged. you’ll be exploited. you’ll be stripped of your dignity. and to add another layer to the mix, we are also taught that our bodies should be “perfect.” perfect? what’s perfect??? and as defined by who???

when i was still “toxic” i bought into a lot of the shame and guilt. i required spiritual assistance (aka my friend big Green) to bring me to a place even close to self-acceptance. and since we’ve already established that i pretty much tell you everything (i mean, sheesh, if you just read from the beginning, this blog is basically a map of patty yu’s journey to self discovery), i totally used that “assistance” for this shoot, taken only halfway into my “spiritual transformation.” i say halfway because i was consciously doing a lot of looking inward to “exorcise the demons” and making fantastic progress! but i was still recreating many of the same patterns.

and so, when i look at these photos, i am reminded of where i was then. i see in my eyes the pain of not knowing. and i see a body that i recognize as beautiful and sexy, but i know that it was mistreated, not fed for 2 days prior, because i felt out of control due to lack of any real knowledge about how to nourish it. i recognize the confused me in those photos and i remember her. and my hesitation to share is me pausing to feel through those memories.

the echos of fear. echos of shame. echos of guilt.

but i know something changed. for good. and therefore i release all my judgment and i honor her. for making that shift. to get her to me.

to now.

because now i live in bliss every day. now i see myself in the light.

and i appreciate, and cherish, and nourish, and love my self, like we all deserve to be loved. nourished. cherished. appreciated.

and for whatever reason i am compelled to just share all of this process. to perhaps illuminate the complexity of self-consciousness, and how that can manifest within the human mind. i share this information to assist in your transformation, should you seek it.

because i appreciate, and cherish, and nourish, and love YOU, like YOU deserve to be loved. nourished. cherished. appreciated.

i ruv yous.

whew!

now that was a lot of foreplay…

are you as curious as i am how the next shoot will go?

love you lee. i am so grateful to co-create with you.

<3

This decision is a devastating blow to our democracy and the basic rights of farmers to choose how they want to grow food on their land and protect the rights of consumers who are increasingly buying organic and sustainably grown food for its positive health and environmental impacts. Please join me in telling President Obama that you’re deeply disappointed in his decision and want a ban on GMO alfalfa.

My letter to the president:

Dear President Obama,

It was during your race for the presidency that i felt renewed hope in the future of our country. For the first time since seeing the world through the eyes of a naive little girl, I felt a renewed hope that we would together create a country that stands united for the betterment of mankind. I saw a glimmer of the future and I knew that you would be elected, and that you would be a beacon of light, who would inspire masses and bring forth great substantial change. I remember reassuring those who were still wrought with the old paradigm of fear that you would go on to lead us. I had unwavering faith.

When you came into office, I saw you and Michelle Obama as true examples of a new standard that all human beings should be held up to. Michelle’s leadership on the health front showed me it was possible that our leaders could truly care about the highest good of our citizens, rather than the pockets of the richest of rich.

When I learned about the Monsanto GMO alfalfa, the fear almost returned. I say almost because the fight isn’t over. But although I have no fear, much of that hope you once inspired was replaced with deep disappointment. Two years ago I would have NEVER imagined that your administration could possibly approve such a move. Perhaps that little girl in me, the idealistic dreamer, was unrealistic in believing that a historic president like you would be impervious to bending to the will of such powerhouses of control. I am saddened, and that little girl in me weeps for this fragment of broken dreams.

However, I want you to know that I believe the people will rise to the occasion. I believe that the people will vote with their dollars. I believe that we are the change we seek. Truly. Deeply. And while this plea to reverse your decision may fall on deaf ears, I am inspired and invigorated by the voice of the people who are standing up fearlessly for what is RIGHT. For what is in the best interest of the collective. And although this decision is a tremendous disappointment, it gives fuel to the movement and awakening of my fellow human beings. We refuse to be in chains and I promise that I will do everything in my power to help mankind, step by step, little by little, to free ourselves from the grasp of powers we did NOT choose in this lifetime. I do this for my parents. I do this for my future children. I do this for my neighbors. I do this for my country. I do this for my world. I do this for my planet. I do this for me. And I do this for you.

Thank you for what change you have brought into place so far. I encourage you to live fearlessly, President Obama. There is only now, and our purpose here is to live in truth.

Live truth. Live free. Live love.

Patty Yu

Bruce Lipton is my hero.  Set yourself free…

this doesn’t mean i NEVER did what i knew i had to do.  i did.  it just certainly took a while* even though i always knew in my heart who i could be.

i used to repeat my “story” as an excuse.

“Once upon a time… blah blah blah… and that’s how i got all fucked up in life, so that’s why i can’t be what you want me to be.”

ooh… that’s interesting.  “what you want me to be… “  that just sort of slipped out, but it’s profound.  why do we go through life thinking we need to be what others want us to be?  this is social conditioning i would say.  we’re usually raised by parents, who were raised by parents, who were raised by parents, and so on.  all of whom did their best to teach their children how to be, but maybe didn’t always have the best tools.  it’s not anyone’s fault.  every mother has been a daughter.  every father has been a son.  and they each and all have a story as well.

so when do we forgive our parents for “fucking us up” and move the fuck on?  well, there is only the now, my friends.

did you know that up until age six, a child’s brain frequency is constantly in theta?  this frequency allows our brains to absorb massive amounts of information that is stored in our long-term memories (in our subconscious minds).  it is an evolutionary gift, but most people have no idea about this.  i certainly didn’t — not until recently at least, due to my previously inactive brain waking up and hungering for masses of information.

ok, so what does this mean?  well, do you remember at any point of your childhood being told you couldn’t do/have something because you weren’t being good enough?  because you don’t deserve it?  were you ever told you were acting stupid?  or being crazy?  if you don’t remember this, just go to the supermarket and observe some young parents with their kids.  this is rampant in our world.

alas… if only we had known then how destructive this can be to a child.  the thing is, children don’t yet have a fully developed conscious mind yet at that age, and so they operate on many primal urges of wanting, being fearful, angry, envious, but also loving, caring, playful, and being all around little delights.

children ARE.  they are the quintessential example of how to just BE.

however, many parents (though meaning well) expect their little ones to be perfect NOW.  and so they unintentionally teach children that the natural, human, primal urge to feel every spectrum of emotion is somehow WRONG.  at that age, a child is really this wondrous, living-in-the-now, adorable little hard drive in constant download mode, taking in every word, every action, and every reaction that the parent is saying/having (both toward the child or toward his/her partner in front of the child).

to put it all together, when in theta brainwave frequency, a child’s brain stores EVERY SINGLE WORD AND ACTION it is exposed to.  and through various other kinds of patterns and conditioning that occur at that time, a child’s subconscious “personality” is formed.  have you not noticed how we sometimes become just like our parents or like the people who were most influential in our childhood lives?  it is not a coincidence that the most supported children grow up to be balanced, while those who experience traumas develop deep psychological issues.

WHEW.  ok.  this is not a lesson on parenting, i promise.  this is actually to give us all insight into why WE do the things we do.  why WE sabotage ourselves.  why WE may go through life knowing very well how amazing and powerful and creative we are, but then constantly “fucking up,” or making excuses for things.  it is insight into why we resist change so much.  we often know our full potential in our hearts, but we subconsciously resist changing all the bad habits that prevent us from being our highest selves.

why?  because we downloaded subconscious beliefs that we aren’t good enough.  that we aren’t smart enough.  that we’re messy.  wild.  crazy.

out. of. control.

sure we also downloaded a lot of good things.  great things.  amayyyyzing things!!!  but until we become conscious of that other stuff we unconsciously downloaded, we’ll continue to live two versions of ourselves.

who are you?  who do you want to be?

what’s keeping you from being the YOU you know you are?

check in with yourselves daily, my loves.  see yourself.  you are already your highest self.  the only thing in the way of you being the person you dream to be is just a program.  a mirage.  you have all the power in the world to re-program yourself.  focus on your true self.  know who you are.  is that you who reacts with a temper?  is that you who is out of control?  is that you who doesn’t believe you can do it?

i know that you know in your heart who you really are.  tap in.  feel yourself.  free yourself.  love yourself.  all of this was a lesson to learn that you have every ability to grow and change and then TEACH.  we are all teachers.  we are all conduits of love.

i love you so much.  i am you and you are me and without each other we wouldn’t exist.  for this reason i am so grateful for you.  so so grateful for you that i may experience this journey.  what an amazing journey this life is.  there is no reason to struggle against it, and all the reason to flow with it.  when you become aware of who you truly are, you begin to attract the riches of your imagination into your life effortlessly.  struggling is just another obstacle that we are creating.  the more we try, the more we are just trying!

so just do.  just be.  be you.  be that wonderful, amazing, loving you that i love so much.

because you are divine.

and remember that it will take effort.  but there are lots of tricks.  lots and lots of tricks my loves!

like bringing yourself back into theta frequency.  this is the frequency right before you go into deep sleep.  setting intentions, writing and visualizing the glorious being that you are right before bed is a fantastic start.  meditation!!!  even hypnotherapy**.  there are so many resources out there that help you deprogram negativo subconscious patterns.

so if any of this post resonates with you, i encourage you to explore yourself.  i see many people in my life doing this already, and i have no doubt that those of you i don’t know personally have been awakening as well.  all you creative, beautiful beings.

i love you all so much!

*i say here that it “took a while” but i must elaborate that i believe now that everything happened in exactly the amount of time it was meant to happen.  it always does for all of us.  it just is.  feeling that “urgency” was just another program!  now it’s time to feel the flow flow flow…

**a gift for you: audio hypnotherapy track.  put it on your itunes or put it on your phone/ipod and play it just as you’re about to go to sleep every night or when you have time to lie down for a nap during the day.  you don’t have to do anything else!  it sounds kind of intense if you listen to it at first, but it will take you into theta and deprograms negative subconscious beliefs.  i dare you to try to remain conscious throughout — it’s challenging!  OH and do not use while driving!

this is happening to me.  over and over and over again.

complete transformation.

wtf [inthebestway].

it used to take so much time for me to change, and as i mentioned before, i seem to be changing faster and faster… at the speed of light.

even just a year ago i was still living in toxicity.  so much better than before, but still attached to a way of life that did not serve me one freaking bit.  alcohol?  binge eating?  exploiting myself?

however, through all the pain that i was not allowing myself to feel (with plenty of heavy medication of the herbal variety), my true self persevered.

i knew…

there are so many turning points i don’t even know how to begin listing them.  but the most influential step was my change in HEALTH.  this change began with removing toxic foods.  good GOD, i truly hope and wish for all people to realize how much eating toxic, non-organic, cooked denatured food FUCKS WITH YOU.  it fucks with ALL of your being — body, mind, spirit.  these are all so connected my loves.  i wish for all of you to feel liberated like i do.

it was no one person’s fault in my life that i was eating cooked, denatured foods as the staple.  habits are usually passed down from generation to generation.  through memes, society, and culture.  what American kid doesn’t like to chow down on some freakin’ pizza for example???  Oooh yum, a non-organic, gmo wheat crusted, hormone injected cheesy, sulfite infused meaty grease pancake?  MMMmmmmmMMmmm… can’t wait to feed that to my future kids!!!  i am baffled by parents who feed themselves so well, but then give in to their child’s demands for junk food.  who knows best here???

listen folks, i don’t mean to get all preachy up on a soap box or anything.  i just CARE ABOUT YOU.  soooo much!  and i hate seeing my fellow human beings suffering and in pain, just like i was a few years ago.  what i didn’t realize for so much of my life was that in actuality, i was severely malnourished.  and thing is, we don’t see what’s going on in our bodies, so sometimes we don’t always recognize what we feel in our bodies.

how did my lack of health manifest in my life then?  well… the best way i can explain is that i projected all that lack onto how i experienced my external environment.  bear with me, this might be confusing, but i was two versions of myself.  the internal experience of my life was mired in frustration, insecurity, anger, dependencies, jealousy, discomfort, dread, paranoia, possessiveness, fear, self loathing, judgment, dissatisfaction.  totally outta control.

people who know me would probably say, “what?  what do you mean?  we never see you like that.  you’re the most stable person i know!”  well, that’s what i thank all you people for.  everyone ELSE in my life (and by this i mean both the people within close proximity to my physical being AND every single human being on this freaking planet), gave me a grounding force for my true self — my true self that i could hold for others — loving, caring, helpful, steadfast, trustworthy, compassionate, seeing, knowing.  that is my true self.  this is always who i knew i am.

somehow i could hold that for others, but internally i was crying out so much inside with pain and not giving myself this love.  i became a serial [codependent] monogamist.  strings of codependent relationships (long and short) that both kept me from self-combustion but also still enabled my pain.  through the love i have for people i could maintain part of my best self for them when they needed me, but truthfully i still needed to be needed/wanted.  and because i wasn’t living my highest self, i wasn’t attracting others living their highest self either.  so in every relationship i created i was still clawing at ideals, knowing things weren’t right and trying to “fix” them, but not necessarily having the right tools.

whew.  this is heavy shit folks.  did i lose anyone there?

i’d say my transformation really kicked off years ago, with many ups and downs, lots of progress, and plenty of relapsing.  but in the last six months the change has been a whirlwind.  i was never a super heavy drinker, but alcohol fell away halfway through 2010 and i don’t see it coming back anytime soon.  there’s just no space for it anymore in my life.  what a waste of time really.  for me.  no judgment.

then the food choices really changed for good within the last six months as well.  i started eating only organic and mostly raw, living food.  nature’s best.

god’s candy.

the affect this has had on my body, mind, and soul is just extraordinary and fucking magical.  to be honest, the reason i started this shift in diet had many reasons based out of vanity.  the business i’m in puts a lot of pressure on women to be slim and i was having a difficult time controlling my intake of food (why?  I WAS MALNOURISHED!!!).  and yes.  i’ve gotten physically measurable results.  and i literally CURED my allergies.  they’re gone.  GONE.  not just lessened, reduced, or milder anymore.  they’ve completely DISAPPEARED.

but i’ve also gained so much more.

what i’ve now gained because of changing my diet is beyond anything i could have hoped.  i am seeing my real body for the first time in years.  i see myself exactly how i am.  there have been times in the past where i dropped weight and i still saw something else.  i was still dissatisfied.  always deficient in some way.

but now i see.  i see me.  cleansing my whole physical self freed up so much energy in my body that my mental and spiritual self healed as well.

how?  mentally i’m sharper than ever before.  and ravenous for new information.  this lead me to also give up the ganj, which was my medicine for a very long time.  again, it just seems a waste of time right now.  i’m enjoying clarity too much to fuzz that shit up.

and spiritually?

well.

where the fuck do i begin folks?  this is some seriously metaphysical shit that may need to be shared in another post because it will certainly take more than a few sentences.  but what i do want to say is that i remember as a child believing that i had super powers.

and often our innocent, pure children are the real harbingers of truth.

um… leaving it at that for now.

ok, i won’t leave you just with that.  but spiritually i’ve awoken to love.  truly loving myself and being able to give love to all.  i didn’t love myself before.  i wasn’t happy.  i didn’t enjoy life.  and now i do.  there’s so much love i don’t know what to do with it!  it’s just pouring out these days.  i love you all so much.  i’ve always felt the collective energy of my fellow human beings and there is just an overwhelming need for love in this world.  i love you so much.  so so much.  i promise to do everything in my power to show you true love.  there is nothing i want more in life than to find a way for you to feel true, unwavering, unconditional love.  i intend to do so and i know you’ll all join me as you awaken in spirit as well.  so much love.  so much love lying dormant within all you lovely little creatures.  meow yum.

we’re coming into an age where it is no longer about give or take, peeps.  instead it’s about give and receive.  because receiving is giving too.  giving and taking is just buying and you just can’t buy love.

love unconditionally and it will just come around back to you.  that is truly how it works people.

have a good look at yourself and love yourself.  love every part of you — the best and the worst.  release the guilt.  release the judgment.  release the shame.  release everything that doesn’t serve you.  they aren’t yours.  they never were yours.  and it’s not anyone’s fault.  everyone did the best they could with the tools they had.  our bodies are made up of a trail of generations before us, and it holds so much that isn’t us, but we can release it, with compassion being the number one tool.

harness this tool and you’ll unlock your own powers.  you’ll free yourself from the chains of the past.  you will cream your pants at how good it feels.

i promise.

love yous.

photo by tay tay