CutebutDeadly.net

i eat exclamation points

in real life the ER is only 3% hotties

don’t worry, i didn’t have my own emergency.  i had my neighbor’s.  she’s ok.

i am very close with my girl next door.  we’re both sagittarians.  and have freakishly similar tendencies.

equally NUTS.

so we immediately bonded like sisters.  anyhow, sparing any details, i spent the whole day in the emergency room at Cedar Sinai Hospital.  first of all, CSH is SWANK.  it’s like a hospital RESORT.  the hand towels are folded into flowers.  seriously.

and as much as i’d love to get into some philosophical rambling about life and death, our retarded health care system, or the reality of how not hot people are in the ER versus what we see on TV, i’m just gonna go to bed.  cuz i’m tired.

good. night.

thank you superfuture

In an earlier post HERE, i talked about a website called Superfuture, where users post their outfits in a thread called What Are You Wearing Today.  Back before I started making my dorky video blogs, I decided to post some photos in waywt and boy that community is rough on noobs.

Some of my friends think it’s crazy and don’t understand why I’d subject myself to that kind of scrutiny.  In some ways they’re right.  At the same time, I’m here trying to find my voice in LA and i realize that i need to be ok with scrutiny.  Superfuture somehow felt like a safe place for me to lose anonymity.  I saw all these other interesting people putting themselves out there…and it inspired me (and still does).

Many people give you very nice, positive feedback.  But there are the few who professionally HATE.  I learned from that too.  No matter what you do in the world, no matter what you put out, there will be people who like it and there will be people who don’t.  No matter WHAT.  Everyone feels how they feel for personalized reasons.  By posting on Sufu sort of blindly, i learned this very quickly, which actually helped me to move onto the next step of making my little video blogs that I still secretly love hate myself.  Those videos then helped me to take another step and produce something bigger.  And this is just the beginning.

So…thanks sufu.  Thanks everyone who’s been cool, and thanks to the haters too.  I’ve learned from you.  Love ya’ll.  (even you jmatsu).

The reason why I write this is cuz i’m posting a fit today after a long hiatus (got a little…distracted).

[a window into my own mania:  i started writing this blog at like 4pm today and somehow psyched myself out.  i  had to step away from the computer because i started hating on my own photo.  haha.  but this is exactly why i need to just do it.  i don't know why as human beings we self-doubt so much.  but fuck it.  it's going up, damnit.]

insomniac photo shoot

whipped out the SLR that i don’t know how to use properly last night. this is what i got:

and my personal favorite:

guilty pleasure

posting photos in LOOKBOOK!!!

Superfuture superfun

once upon a time i was going to visit TOKYO and a friend shows me a site called Superfuture. anyone looking to consume fashion of all kinds will essentially find locations of all peddlers of COOL mapped out on this site with descriptions and sometimes store or brand websites. pretty rad.

so, fast forward to this summer, after i had forgotten all about this site, and i was instant messaging with a friend of mine. he sends me these photos of some chick, and says, “what’s up with gladiator sandals?” well, the answer was, “they’re ugly as shit,” but man, was i intriqued! what was this??? some girl putting pictures of herself on a website to be scrutinized by a million internet lurkers??? how do i get on this train??

what my friend showed me was a thread in a part of Superfuture called Supertalk–a bunch of threads started by Superfuture readers to talk about fashion, design, shopping, but then a bunch of trash too, like who’s hot, who sucks, and look how cool i am. this particular thread my friend showed me is called WAYWT (what are you wearing today?). people post photos of their outfits and they get internet reputation from other readers. it’s like an internet popularity contest based on what you contribute to the threads. on one waywt thread people are only supposed to post photos, but since there are so many opinionated mother fuckers out there, someone started one that’s the “chat edition” so that people can talk shit and publicly criticize someone’s fit, or publicly praise them as well. OF COURSE i started posting on both threads. i mean, how could i not????? glorious fun!!

i did have to earn the respect of all the veteran sufu folks the hard way. my first fit was some hipster trashy shit that i wear when i bartend sometimes and these people tore my shit apart. i had super negativo feedback and i think some people hated me. haha. they’re very serious about this thread, ok??? but i realized that even though the thread is called “what are you wearing TODAY,” everyone really only wants to see, “what are you wearing on the days you’re wearing your best shit especially if you’re a newbie.” since the days of my first couple shitty posts, i have now garnered some respect with a string of finer outfits, and as i continue to post, my style continues to get better, though i seriously need to make more money to dress the way i REALLY want to dress. it’s actually really nice to have something that inspires me to dress better in my daily life. dressing better makes me feel good and it translates in my auditions too. shout out to all ya’ll sufu kids. i loves ya, i really do.

here is an example of a post I made, the other day on my birthday (12/10). maybe this is all just super narcissistic bullshit, but hey…i put my IMDb link on the page and it increases my rank on that shit. win win. i may put some of my fits on this blog from time to time cuz it’s fun.