maybe it’s sick. maybe it’s twisted.
but now i won’t suffer through it alone hahahaha…suckas!
all photos will be taken upon first discovering the kill, wherever my cat leaves it. the 50 times before tonight that i had to dispose of a critter body, i was disgusted and disturbed. tonight, it suddenly had purpose. i mean…if it’s gonna happen, give it artistic value i guess? whatevs. if you don’t like it, don’t look again. easy enough right? hehehe…
magnet. that little fucker killed again.
but not only that — i swear i’m living a feline Dexter episodic here right in my house — he’s extremely talented. and completely relentless.
at around noon today, i was getting ready to leave, when i hear the familiar sounds of a cat and mouse struggle. tiny squeaks amongst the thuds of magnet’s athletic cat-body thumping into things. and not just any things, but inside-my-closet things. FUCK.
wearing skinny jeans and high heeled boots i tore everything out of my closet. i nearly had the little guy once but those suckers are fast and squirmy. being the muggiest day this year, i was dripping sweat by the time i was forced to abandon mission and leave. and so i go, knowing very well that i could come home to a dead mouse carcass left in one of magnet’s two usual spots. the bathroom rug, or the couch.
lo and behold, when i return, in a NEW spot, there is — not a mouse — but a FUCKING SQUIRREL in my house. DEAD.
and cute. so sadly cute.
now, i’ve had to deal with mice, rats, lizards, grasshoppers, even a baby motherfucking bunny. but man…a squirrel is heavy people.
squirrel is heavy.
Last night was Halloween. apparently my cat, Magnet, decided to celebrate with some blood and gore himself. actually, there was little blood. vampire kitteh?
thanksgiving. i guess magnet wanted to show his appreciation as well. as with all the other tails he’s delivered, my feelings about it are significantly more ambivalent, as i will assume the victim is alive and well, and this survival mechanism that remains behind is evidence of it’s worth. bravo! excellent display of intelligence! good magnet! good lizard!
wow. magnet didn’t waste much time did he? another kill within a few days. and it’s winter. well…LA winter. FUCK. and well folks, this one ain’t pretty. ain’t pretty one bit. it stopped my heart for a second i think. what would you say is worse? finding a dead, yet complete squirrel — devastatingly and disturbingly cute. or, a few fragments of a mouse — devastating and just disturbing? ugh. well, at least i get to share it with you fuckers. and sorry this is all one long page. DIY comes with it’s limitations lol. suggestions or advice (or hotties with excellent wordpress skillz) always welcome.
oh. my. god. ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod. this one was beyond, folks. what can i even say? nothing. there is nothing i can say about this one. magnet is a little wonder. so innocent in his intentions, and yet so brutal. who knew my cat was an artiste?
i don’t know how he will possibly trump the previous entry in creativity, but at least Magnet is showing his love of variety with this one. the Aves variety to be exact. victim found under my desk at approximately 2pm. i was doing laundry today, so this must have happened fast because there is no way i was ever gone for more than a few minutes at a time.
the weather has been delectable and i fear this is just the beginning of the big spring/summer wave you lucky folks were not yet privy to last year. oh cycle of life…
victim discovered in the morning approximately 10:30am. this was an overnight kill for sure. i suspect magnet has developed a taste for brains…
it was approximately 9:30am this morning as i shuffled into the living room, bleary eyed from slumber. like in a cheap horror film time slowed when i noticed — a mangled little body. another step and i see the head. another and i see…what the fuck is that? well, let’s just say it was a magnificent display, Magnet. i always hoped to have a gifted child.
when i returned home from work late last night the little killer was still out and i suspected he was looking for his next victim. he heard me come home however, and arrived minutes later sans dead animal. obviously, his thirst for brains was too strong and i awoke at approximately 11am to find this. rigor mortis had not fully set in yet. always a delight.