CutebutDeadly.net

more than meets the eye…

have you ever woken up one day and realized you are a completely different person?

this is happening to me. over and over and over again.

complete transformation.

wtf [inthebestway].

it used to take so much time for me to change, and as i mentioned before, i seem to be changing faster and faster… at the speed of light.

even just a year ago i was still living in toxicity. so much better than before, but still attached to a way of life that did not serve me one freaking bit. alcohol? binge eating? exploiting myself?

however, through all the pain that i was not allowing myself to feel (with plenty of heavy medication of the herbal variety), my true self persevered.

i knew… Continue Reading…

Posted 1 year, 4 months ago at 7:19 pm.
2 comments

i’ve been feeling incredibly inspired the last few weeks, and particularly after the new year. see, i went to vegas to ring in 2010. now, normally i’m sort of disgusted by vegas. but something happened this trip. i saw life in a whole new way. let me explain…

we had been treated to a nye party at the playboy club in palms casino. admission, drinks, our room, everything was taken care of. fantastic.

but no more than 30 minutes after we got to the party, my friend anahi and i couldn’t take the energy of the place. to describe in one word: DARK. maybe because it was the playboy club, but it was like this regurgitation of what sexy should be, when in reality the place lacked any sensuality whatsoever. instead it just felt icky. there were shifty eyes all around us, trying to see who to look at, to see who was looking at them.

so three of us decided to journey back and found ourselves pouring out into the main casino. maybe it was the sound of all the machines, or the cocktail waitresses bustling around with drinks. maybe it was seeing people from all ends of the country — the world. or maybe it was mind altering substances, i dunno, but i suddenly saw everything as an exchange. i saw the exchange of energy between everything and everyone right before my eyes. transfers between people and people, people and machine, us and the earth. the food, the money, the hope, even the despair. batteries, bodies, spirits that continuously need charging.

it was all so amazing. so beautiful.

you might just think i’m out of my mind, and maybe i am a little, but it was incredibly inspiring. it’s making me see things in a fresh new light. and now i just want to keep creating and working with other people. exhange thoughts. ideas. vision. share. share. share.

i took a lot of photos because of this urge to share, and here are a few of my favorites. hope you enjoy them.

2010 is going to be amazing. keep exchanging, folks…