CutebutDeadly.net

waywt…still

what is the meaning of this?

sup sufu

luv yous guys

what is the meaning of this?

had an audition today.  the wardrobe was “nice casual.”  so…

next on today’s agenda:  meeting with an agent.  it’s like car shopping.

waywt

2/17/10

what is the meaning of this?

blah blah blah

it’s been a minute since i posted something new so i feel compelled to submit an entry.  look at that.  slave to you.  how’d that fucking happen?  look how much power you have over me.

anyway, i have been deliciously busy the last two weeks with a good number of auditions and callbacks to most of them.  i guess i can’t complain about not having too many auditions because i get called back a lot.  i’d rather have fewer auditions and a high callback ratio than a ton of auditions and a low callback ratio.  it means my agents are doing a good job submitting me for the appropriate jobs for my type.  AND that i’m doing well in the room too.  so yay.  high fives all around.  i smell a job around the corner.

i am also meeting with a theatrical agent sometime in the next two weeks.  this is an agent who i think will be a great match and we’ve been emailing to figure out a time to meet.  i’m very eager to get back into the game theatrically (film and tv).  ARGHHH I CAN’T WAIT.  but let’s not get too desperate now…it always shows.  chill the fuck out, patty.

actually…i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.  i tend to get really excited about things…ideas, possibilities, etc..  maybe i get a bit overzealous and scare people off a little.  i dunno.  but it’s ok…i’ve also experienced the magic of meeting the right people and sparks flare and big shit happens.  i love that.  so anyway…i’ll just continue being my excitable self thank you very much and with the right match, things will just GO.

luckily, i also get over shit fast when things don’t work out — it helps tremendously in this business.  you’re rejected so much that you better be able to get over it fast, boy.  my advice to any aspiring actors out there:  get over shit.  FAST.  go to your audition and then forget about it.  IMMEDIATELY.  or else you’ll carry that into the next one and it’ll fuck your shit up and then you’ll hate yourself and then you won’t be able to stop thinking about it and it’ll fuck your shit up even MORE.  it’s a vicious cycle, and so utterly pointless, so just stop it.

this is one seriously loosened bowel of written poo and i won’t torture you with much more.  when there’s meatier topics, there will be more solidly formed poo.  still talking blog here, people.

someone slap me now.

uh…and here’s a photo i posted on superfuture yesterday.  woo.

i eat exclamation points

thank you superfuture

In an earlier post HERE, i talked about a website called Superfuture, where users post their outfits in a thread called What Are You Wearing Today.  Back before I started making my dorky video blogs, I decided to post some photos in waywt and boy that community is rough on noobs.

Some of my friends think it’s crazy and don’t understand why I’d subject myself to that kind of scrutiny.  In some ways they’re right.  At the same time, I’m here trying to find my voice in LA and i realize that i need to be ok with scrutiny.  Superfuture somehow felt like a safe place for me to lose anonymity.  I saw all these other interesting people putting themselves out there…and it inspired me (and still does).

Many people give you very nice, positive feedback.  But there are the few who professionally HATE.  I learned from that too.  No matter what you do in the world, no matter what you put out, there will be people who like it and there will be people who don’t.  No matter WHAT.  Everyone feels how they feel for personalized reasons.  By posting on Sufu sort of blindly, i learned this very quickly, which actually helped me to move onto the next step of making my little video blogs that I still secretly love hate myself.  Those videos then helped me to take another step and produce something bigger.  And this is just the beginning.

So…thanks sufu.  Thanks everyone who’s been cool, and thanks to the haters too.  I’ve learned from you.  Love ya’ll.  (even you jmatsu).

The reason why I write this is cuz i’m posting a fit today after a long hiatus (got a little…distracted).

[a window into my own mania:  i started writing this blog at like 4pm today and somehow psyched myself out.  i  had to step away from the computer because i started hating on my own photo.  haha.  but this is exactly why i need to just do it.  i don't know why as human beings we self-doubt so much.  but fuck it.  it's going up, damnit.]

Apple gave me positive rep

So, last week I had a casting for a print ad for Apple computers. The role was for a “creative business professional.” I put on an outfit, took some snapshots for Superfuture and Lookbook, and headed to the casting. When i got back, my post in Superfuture had gotten a lot of criticism. I paired this beautiful Diane Von Furstenburg blouse with some high waisted shorts, as pictured below.

A bunch of the dudes on Sufu were somehow offended by the shorts. Granted, lots of people liked it as well, but many people had something to say. The couple guys who didn’t like it thought the proportions were off, and that i should have worn a pencil skirt instead. Blah blah blah. I would totally do that too, but I would wear it with the shorts too. As they say, women dress for other women, not for men.

Anyhow, I’m on hold for the Apple job! Can’t get too excited yet, because as luck would have it, the last print job and commercial i got put on hold for released me last minute, but hell, Apple gave me pos rep. Shorts validated.

guilty pleasure

posting photos in LOOKBOOK!!!

Superfuture superfun

once upon a time i was going to visit TOKYO and a friend shows me a site called Superfuture. anyone looking to consume fashion of all kinds will essentially find locations of all peddlers of COOL mapped out on this site with descriptions and sometimes store or brand websites. pretty rad.

so, fast forward to this summer, after i had forgotten all about this site, and i was instant messaging with a friend of mine. he sends me these photos of some chick, and says, “what’s up with gladiator sandals?” well, the answer was, “they’re ugly as shit,” but man, was i intriqued! what was this??? some girl putting pictures of herself on a website to be scrutinized by a million internet lurkers??? how do i get on this train??

what my friend showed me was a thread in a part of Superfuture called Supertalk–a bunch of threads started by Superfuture readers to talk about fashion, design, shopping, but then a bunch of trash too, like who’s hot, who sucks, and look how cool i am. this particular thread my friend showed me is called WAYWT (what are you wearing today?). people post photos of their outfits and they get internet reputation from other readers. it’s like an internet popularity contest based on what you contribute to the threads. on one waywt thread people are only supposed to post photos, but since there are so many opinionated mother fuckers out there, someone started one that’s the “chat edition” so that people can talk shit and publicly criticize someone’s fit, or publicly praise them as well. OF COURSE i started posting on both threads. i mean, how could i not????? glorious fun!!

i did have to earn the respect of all the veteran sufu folks the hard way. my first fit was some hipster trashy shit that i wear when i bartend sometimes and these people tore my shit apart. i had super negativo feedback and i think some people hated me. haha. they’re very serious about this thread, ok??? but i realized that even though the thread is called “what are you wearing TODAY,” everyone really only wants to see, “what are you wearing on the days you’re wearing your best shit especially if you’re a newbie.” since the days of my first couple shitty posts, i have now garnered some respect with a string of finer outfits, and as i continue to post, my style continues to get better, though i seriously need to make more money to dress the way i REALLY want to dress. it’s actually really nice to have something that inspires me to dress better in my daily life. dressing better makes me feel good and it translates in my auditions too. shout out to all ya’ll sufu kids. i loves ya, i really do.

here is an example of a post I made, the other day on my birthday (12/10). maybe this is all just super narcissistic bullshit, but hey…i put my IMDb link on the page and it increases my rank on that shit. win win. i may put some of my fits on this blog from time to time cuz it’s fun.